Biggest secret is not anymore a secret, you know.

Salam hello gentle readers.

Its been a while. Kinda busy with all these ups and downs, life stuff. heh. Honestly I dont even know what to write. But juz a lil while ago I kinda have these memories back, of my school life, and they are bugging me. So I think that will be the storyline of this entry. 

Oh before that I gotta warn u guys that I'm gonna reveal some very-really-shocking-and-i've-been-keeping-this-to-myself-all-this-while secrets. That shocking huh? craps~ :P

Oh and this is one lengthy writings but worth reading. haha!

Top Secret? not anymore~

The story started when I was in Form 5. Wait, no no no, I think the story getting 'hot' when I was in Form 5. But I cant really recalled what was it like when I was in Form 4. There must be something, its just that no matter how hard I tried to remember, it wont come up. Oh never mind bout that.

Well when I was in Form 5, there was somebody fell for me. BUT he wasnt just somebody, he's been teaching the students at the school. Yes , he is a teacher. He never taught me anyway, the only time I was in the same class with him was when I attending the ELADS (english language and debating society) meeting every Wednesday. And it wasnt him coaching the meetings every week. They were rotating schedule, of course you know bout that.

 U should be my teacher. just teacher.

However, the best part is that, he visited me every night during the prep (preparation) time. So thats how we met. Because he was single back then and lived in the teachers' quarters, he got pretty much free time to visit his students (literally means, me) during the prep time. He kept it a secret by visiting all the form 5 classes , and he'll stop by quite a while in my class. I have this habit of sitting at an empty desk at the back of the class during prep time, and it made him easier to stop by at my place. haha..

 No real tiger back there, weretiger maybe..

It cant be serious if I said he liked me because he visited me every night. Of course there are other supporting factors. Such as, he left chocolates in my locker several times. ( Ad : When I was in Form 4, there gonna be chocolate bars left in my locker 3-4 times a week. Given by my ex. hehe what a memory ) There was one time, he left a necklace with pendant engraved with my nickname (NDI). And that really touches me. xD

At first everything went well (Be alert guys, I'm not saying I did fell in him. But I befriend with him and appreciate him as my teacher.) We exchanged smiles as we walk passed each other. Still kept it quite and under control. But as the time goes by, it changed. He  suddenly showed his fondness of me and it was quite obvious. I'm getting embarassed day by day, plus guilty because it shudnt hav happened, as I am a student and hes my teacher. But he didnt seem to care anymore, he's been asking me out,  called my name ,  asked my friends bout me, sending me lovely cards and cute+romantic presents. He did at one time gave me handphone for the convenience of him calling me at nights. Of course I refused,  hp was illegal and I was a good girl back then. haha.

Something like snowman with snows in a glass

And cute musical teddy like this.

Okay this is a secret, we once fly from the school, along with one of my trusted friend (gotta keep her name a secret) and went to Sg Wang for an illegal outing. By his car. And his idea. Guess what? He surprised me with a bouquet of flowers. Never stop showered me with his praise and did i tell u he had this 'sweet talk'. What appears to be an adoration. Oh my.

He knows my fave : white roses

His conversation turned to be all this lovey dovey things and how much he felt alone without me (as like I'm completing his life, sigh..) I was just 17, and I dont really exposed with this kinda things and talkings so I felt unsecured day by day. I began to think that this was a nuisance until one day I cant stand of something , that happened to be, kind like harassment. (I seriously believe that I'm using the right term). I'm scared and disturbed and felt unsecured, depressed that I went to see the closest , most friendly, caring and fun teacher I 've ever had. Mr Redza. I used to call him 'uncle' instead of Cikgu because we were so close and the students started gossiping me with him. (Why am I having affairs with teachers? haha)

So I met Mr Redza and burst everything out. Guess what? He knew it, in fact he's been observing me because like I said, he cares about me. He just kept it quite to see how well will it goes. So he gave me his warm advices and asked me to distance myself from that teacher. I did what he said. Turned out the teacher noticed i've been keeping distance and he suspected Mr Redza influenced me (Oh I shudnt miss to tell that this teacher has been really jealous of me and Mr Redza ). So the cosequenced is, they keep avoiding each other and began silent fight. I asked Mr Redza is it okay with him  and he said it wasnt him who started everything in the first place. I felt guilty at that time, because of me, these two guys didnt get along well UNTIL now. 

Ooh, they just keep avoiding each other. No arguments involved.

Make it short, this teacher never wanna let go of me so he said that instead of lovers which I strongly vote against , we become 'adik-abang angkat'. He insisted me of calling him 'abang' instead of the normal 'cikgu-teacher-sir-ustaz' address so that there will still be special relationship between us. And what an innocent 17 yrs old did was 'okay '. 

One day, he called me during the pnp (pengajaran dan pembelajaran) process, means, during schooltime. We met outside the class and he said he's going for a training course for three weeks. He asked me to take care of myself during his absence and told me he's gonna miss me. I nodded.

Three weeks later, he was back and on the first period of the day my friend told me that he wanted to see me outside the class. We met. and I still freshly remember he looked straight at me and said  "Adik, I'm getting married."  I dropped my jaw, that time for real. Minutes later after I can properly breath again I asked him "When is it?with whom? how'd u meet her?" And he replied "She is a teacher, I met her during the course, I'm getting engaged next week and our big day will be in a month time." (actually i forgot is it a month time or three months time, all i can remember was it was really quick, and they were married while I was still in school)

And eventhough I'm a bit confused, I'm still happy for him

I met his wife before they get married and his wife seems jealous of me because I know a lot of things bout her husband to be. I dont really care. I personally think during the visit i was sarcastic. 

He proudly showed me his wedding album and said that he could never met somebody as lovely as his wife. Well he said the same things to me before they get married, before they even met. Funny rite. 

How can I understand a man who had 360 degree swings feeling in just a nick of time. And he seems to forget the 'brother-sister' rules because his wife forbid him to. I'm not into him at all, its just I was sooooo confused because I was a freshly innocent 17 yrs old teen who quickly fall into something and then disturbed by it but I'm soooo lucky Mr Redza is around guiding me that time.

Got my point? :D