Salam hi hello gentle readers.
Been a week. It's been a week. I am here in Seoul. Far away from home. From my family. Malaysia is a home. Real home for me. I've been repeating the same sentence. Yeah. I'm homesick.
Eversince I arrived, things have been very difficult for me. I struggle every second to stay put. Especially with my mind. I've been trying very hard to adapt with the whole situation. In fact I've set my mind, to focus and get ready before I even set my feet here. It was a shock, I admit, that everyone will have the same feelings. A cultural shock, of course. Their people, their places, their daily routine habit, their tradition, their culture, their belief, everything. Everything is so different. I understand. And I've told myself like thousand times since I was in Malaysia.
But the real situation is still, seems very tough for me. Most of all, I don't expect their tradition is something that is very important that you even have to put the religion aside. God knows how miserable I am. I am confused, scared and unsecured. The first biggest challenge is the reception party. In which Prof is expecting me to drink in order to respect him. To respect others. It's their culture. It's their tradition. To see how will I act when I get drunk. To evaluate me when I lose my mind. I pray so hard that to keep my faith. I pray so hard to keep on standing with my dignity, with my belief, my principle. Most of all this is my religion. I will definitely stand to fight. Alhamdulillah greatest thanks to my dear God, the one who listens to all prayers, with His will, I managed to overcome the first hurdle. For the first challenge, I succeed. But it's a long journey ahead. And a lot more challenges are waiting.
At one time or another I'm having this kind of thought. How did I ever ever think of coming here. How did my mom and my dad ever allowed me to go and study, all alone not just out from their sight, but far away in some foreign country, foreign culture. I was always be their little baby. I was always hide and feel comfort in my little cottage. With mom and dad around. My home. How did my Professors suggested me to go ahead. How did my lecturers telling me this was an opportunity. Something I shouldnt miss. How did my friends, my relatives gave me their full support? Saying it was stupid to say no to such a golden opportunity. How did everything just fall into place? Back when I was in Malaysia.
But when I look back. I'm beginning to understand. God must have His own reason for everything that happened. Nothing, nothing is happening without His permission, without His will. He knows the best and what's best for us. He never burden us with something we can't even bear. For God never abandoned our prayer. There must be something behind everything that happened. I won't notice now but I will find out later. In God's will, InsyaAllah.
The hardship I faced, reminds me to my intention. I come to study. I come to gain knowledge as much as I can. I come to excel in every way I can. I want to serve the community. So God granted my wish and sent me here. So shouldnt complained much about living. Living and studying is two different things. Lets focus on the main intention and stay put.
In meantime, I really need every strength I have to struggle. And I really need you to pray for me. Pray for my strength. And thank you so much. Only God can reply every man's good deed. May God bless you.
Oh Allah I pray for the strength! I pledge you to guide me the way. And I will work very hard InshaAllah.
Don't despair and never loose hope,
cause Allah is always by your side.
InsyaAllah you'll find your away
Turn to Allah, He'll never far away
Put your trust in Him, raise your hand and pray
Oh Ya Allah, guide my steps don't let me go astray
You're the only one who can show me the way
Show me the way.. InsyaAllah....