Thursday, April 30, 2009



I kept everything inside

And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter

Keep that in mind; I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me

Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised that it got so far
Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

Not that you knew me back then
I tried so hard and got so far
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this, there's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But, in the end, it doesn't even matter


I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. I don't know what you're expecting of me, Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes...Every step that I take is another mistake to you...I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. I become so tired, so much more aware. By becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.Can't you see that you're smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control. Cuz everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you...
every second I waste is more than I can take! And I know I may end up failing too..But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you...

God I can't believe i still stuck onto these lyrics, these songs at the age of 20s. Wish I could just left them behind, together with the adolescence. I failed. And it is not the first time.

Mentally abused. Physically ignored. Emotionally wrecked. Hell of life.*HOL

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Jika Kau Tiada

suatu ketika dahulu
ku tersesat dalam hidup

sehingga muncul menjelma
rasa sayang kepadamu

rupanya inilah cinta

nikmatnya baru ku rasa

tak terbayang bagaimana
hidup jika kau tiada

jika kau tiada

pada siapakanku dendang syair cinta
dan dakapan mana harus ku bersandar
meraih kasih yang ku perlu

jika kau tiada
wajah siapa harus ku tenung bila mencari ketenangan
arakian suara siapakah kan membisikkan kata -kata cinta

tak tersusunnya kata

azimat kau kau bawa pastinya ku kan sengsara oh..jika kau tiada


takku kenal cinta sebelum kau hadir
tak ku tahu ert
i rindu
kini doa ku termakbul ..ku tagih cinta mu selalu

walau ramai ku kenali
tiada seikhlasmu kasih
kalam sayang kau ku cinta
hanya nyawa kan bisa memisahkan kita..

jika kau tiada

hilanglah bintang dilangit yang berkelip memelita malam yang hiba

hilanglah keajaiban didunia

jika kau tiada
sentuhan siapa yang mampu menyembuh luka dihatiku
lantarannya tawar naluri hati untuk jatuh cinta lagi..
jikalau ku termampu memiliki dunia
pastinya ku kan sengsara oh jika kau tiada

Macam biasa, my hobby during free time ataupun di masa2 sibuk giler adalah melayan Akademi Fantasia. Dan hobi ini adalah berterusan sejak 7 tahun yang lalu.

And what so special about this week, is Akim will sing one of the most memorable song in my life, Jika Kau Tiada by Erra and yusry.
If i'm not mistaken , Jika Kau Tiada was a themesong in film Kuliah Cinta back when i was in high school( maybe Form 5.)

I remember my so-crazy-tablemate, Pooh loved Yusry so much for his cast as 'Faramy Arif' in that movie. and often she called me by the name of 'Fara-mie' or 'Fara-B-Kaha'.. I dont even know what the hell was that means.

But we(Pooh and me) used to duet this song together almost every prep time. Man , how I wish she was here. Damn miss my friends.

Anyway, Akim better perform well for this song. I really looking forward for it.

To My Love : Jika Kau Tiada...

Friday, April 3, 2009


Salam and hi again!

Apart from thinking the worst case scenario of my exams and industrial training, I tried to read of something to freshen my tired brain. Having flashlights on some new, hottest trends in fashion magazines sometimes inspire me and generates my shopping buds, and leads to my happy hour day dreaming.. Hehe..

But then suddenly my eyes caught on this article that actually spoiled my happy hour time. =( Anyway I don't mind sharing this article for even it is not great for me to think of it, but to be honest i find it very informative. Let's have a look :


(They said that these are the unhealthy habits that we need to stop doing now)

  • You eat fast food once a week
Eating a fatty meal almost immediately affects the functional of blood vessels, making it harder for them to dilate for up to 4 hours after you've eaten. If you would still like to take your weekly dose of fast food, have it in small portions instead. Opt for Happy Meal which includes smaller fries and drink, but have salad on the side to balance your nutrients intake. The next time you decide to drive-thru the McD, think again!

OMG! The thought of saying about having McD every week is so like me! And sorry Happy Meal, I never ordered anything other than Big Mac and Double Cheese Burger.. too bad for me , huh.. No wonder.....=(

  • You only sleep five hours a day
5 hours snoozing is not enough, even if you feel refreshed in the next morning. Apart from the risk of getting heart disease, diabetes nad hypertension, did you know that lack of sleep can cause weight gain? A sudy showed that men have greater appetites when deprived of sleep. Another study, which looked at the sleep patterns of more than 1000 indidviduals, found that the less people slept. the higher the body mass index is. Since individuals who sleep less than 8 hours a night on average are heavier than those who do, it's probably a good idea to cut down on late night partying and get all the beauty sleep you can!

Again, MY GOD! This rings a bell. A loud bell. I only sleep five hours. Sometimes even less. Well, look at the time now, it shows 4:17 a.m. And here i am, tip tapping on my keyboard.. High BMI? Ouch..Ouch..Ouch..

  • You brush twice a day, but hardly floss
The reality is that the majority of us dont know how to take proper care to our teeth. Flossing removes bacteria that escapes the toothbrush by hiding in the tiny spaces between the teeth. Brushing without flossing is like washing only 65% of your body, the other 35% is remains dirty! The American Dental Association recommends you to floss at least once a day.

Hello, is anybody from the magazine come and took a peek of my real life? Did they put on a spy on me? How did they know then! aaaa.. The only floss I ever use was my dad's at home. Uh, Dad, would u let me take yours, or you prefer to buy me a new one? Uh huh.

  • You eat only two to three servings of fruits and vegetables a day
If you take in abaout 3 servings per day, it might just save your life. Study shows that 3 daily servings of produce may be enough to lower the risk of premature death from heart disease and stroke. It also may prevent cells from turning cancerous.

I only take 1 serving of the greens daily. Enough said. =(

  • You smoke one or two sticks of ciggarettes a month
-I am lazy to type the explaination-

Well, ones may think that smoking only 1 or 2 sticks will not cause harm, but the fact is, they did. Only at this point i didnt feel any regret or any heartbreak, cuz i didnt smoke at all. I believe smoking will leads to bad breath, bad looks(for girls), bad health, and bad lifetime.

  • You drink a lot of soda
Whether i's regular or diet, soda can increase the risk of osteoporosis. If you really want to drink soda, dont forget to drink a cup of milk before going to bed. It's the calcium in the milk that will balance the phosphorus in the soda, which leads to bone loss.

At reading this fact, I thank dad a lot for forbid me to drink any canned drinks back when I was small. And i grew up not having any favour of canned drinks, especially the coke. =)

  • You must have your daily dose of coffee
Believe it or not, your daily coffee intake will actually improves your health. Unless if you get insomia or jitters from coffee, research shows that having a cup or two helps protect you against liver and colon cancer. Apart from that, coffee also reduce the the risk of parkinson disease, Alzheimer's, Type 2 diabetesand even premature death from heart disease. This, however doesnt mena you should add on to your usual intake. To make it healthier, stick to a plain coffee or a skim latte that has lower calories. If you're pregnant or trying to conceive, experts advice that you limit your coffee intake to one cup a day or go decaf.

I'm not really into drinking coffee. Just having the coffee moment around exams weeks, when I need the caffein to stay awake. I have this kind of sleeping disorder problems, (obviously I inherit it from my mom!). So, leave alone drinking coffee, even eating the cold medicine which state "Ubat ini boleh menyebabkan mengantuk" , I didnt feel sleepy at all. So coffee will really keep me awake which, I usually dont like.

**Facts are taken from Female magazine, April 2009

I-AM-JEALOUS with anybody with perfect bodyline! My own waistline? Buweekkk!

I want to pull off some weight. I want to be on diet. I want to wear my favourite adorable dress and ruffles shirt and cute top, together with skinny and perfect cutting jeans and hide my very bad looking tummy(Oooouchhh!). Why my tummy is getting thicker and thicker as the times goes by? Why? Why?

My eating behaviour. It is getting worst..

p/s : isnt they cute? * giggle*

Late Night Talk

Salam and hi,

This week is my final exam's week and until now, I have eventually had 4 papers already. The only paper left is Hydraulics, which will be on Monday. I'm not in the moment of talking about my exams. Everything has been clearly explained by my classmates Mushai, Anis, Dewi, Pida and Hawa.

I only pray for the best to achieve my target for this semester.

After the exams we still have presentation for our big, major, integrated project- The Structural Design of a Bungalow. As for this presentation, I haven't done anything yet especially the calculations for beam, slab , column and footing. Actually I do believe that all of my friends also never start working on that yet; but as usual, working together with Wei Chern always made me getting on my nerves and trigger my sense of alertness.

The presentation date hasnt been announced yet but i heard some speculation that it will most probably be on Friday. All groups on Friday.. Any inquiries, refer to Prof Wan, this is just a speculation..=)

If the presentations are going to be deliver on Friday, that means on 10th april. Then I have 2 days to go back home and relax before going for my internship on 13th.

Back 2-3 months before i felt so excited, but right now i feel a little bit nervous. Maybe because I never get chance to dealt with people before. I never even had a part time job!. Just pray for the best again, anyway..